This is the story of my life for about one year during which we decided to adopt and went through the adventure. While not a closed book by any means, I bring you only into this phase to protect my kids. You can learn a lot about the international adoption process hereÉ
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27)
This is my adoption blog and the first entry was the email I sent out to family and friendsÉ
Day one, two, three
My life has been turned upside down and inside out.
For 20 years, my wife and I have talked about adopting - allowing someone born in less fortunate circumstances to be loved as they never knew - like we are in the Father, who chose us and adopted us and paid our price. We decided to have our own beautiful babies, but I stopped at two, even though Karen would have had more.
I'm better with older kids than with the little ones. Working with high scholars and junior higher at work and church all these years has given me a lot of experience with this age group, and I love them and they usually respond well to me.
Life had become comfortable - we were doing well with finances, something not always true when we were raising ours on one income - and while I was being used, I was restless knowing I needed to do something more, but not sure exactly what. I had most of my life plotted out: A couple more years to pour into my kids before they are out of the house, and then on to a brand new phase of life - more of a ME life where I could do whatever I wanted or felt led to pursue.
Karen had started mentioning babies and expanding the family recently and I thought she was nuts. Don't rock the boat, baby! Things are going really well!
Sunday she sits down with the laptop and starts looking up adoption in Ethiopia. I sit down next to her and incredibly said mentally "Yeah! Let's do that!" in spite of all my plans for the future that seemed so set in stone a few days earlier. She finds a believer's site who runs an agency out of Seattle dealing with Ethiopia. I feel at peace with this woman instantly.
We ask for the codes to peruse the older kids section of the site and the next day she e-mails us the codes and some basic instructions. That's when it happened. My heart melted completely. Here were listed only names, ages, sex and which ones were connected family-wise with each other. I tear up as I look at some of the large family groups thinking, "Who could adopt a group of 5 or 7? Who is going to take three older boys?"
I had in my mind the perfect plan: A boy about 12 for Jake, always looking for playmates, and a little sister maybe a year or so younger. That was my fleece, and when I saw them I would know that this was my answer to prayer that this was the right thing to do.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9) How often this verse came to me in life as MY plans never work out.
Perusing through the pages of faces, I'm looking for my two kids exactly as I planned my course when this group of 4 enters my field of view. A boy the right age, and girl a bit older, and two little ones, 5 and 4. I look at the little one's adoring eyes and say in my head, "No! I don't want a little one and no way for 4!" but I can't go on. Her little piercing gaze stares at my heart. and I say "NO!" and go on. My kids will be on a later page.
They're not there.
There are some kids that almost fit my vision, and so I look at them again. Yes, I could love these kids. a boy 12 and a girl 13. They're about my vision. As I re-look I see the 4 again, and again I cannot look away. God argues with me: "Those two would be easy. Take the four and see me as you never have before." I say back, "I know it's impossible, but I'm done fighting with you."
I continued to look over all the kids. We asked for more info, limited as it is on 5 groups: the 4 the 2, the three boys ages 11, 10 and 8, an adorable single girl about 10 and a little 12 year old boy with a leg problem. My dear sweet compassionate son who wants someone to run and play with was accommodating his dream and wanted information on this child who can walk, but may never run again, due to a car accident.
Hannah asks why I keep going back to page 5, but I keep silent.
Tuesday arrives with more info: The two are athletic, gregarious. One parent died of TB, another of Malaria. They live with an uncle. The little boy with the leg needs a Shriner's hospital or the like. The solo girl showed up on her own wanting a family. The three boys had never been asked about before - nobody looks at three older boys. And the family of 4: The father has died and the mother is in the process of dying. The 13 year old is acting as mother to the other three and nursemaid to her dying mother.
I want to give her her childhood back.
Suddenly nothing I had planned means anything. I have to devote my life to saving these 4. I don't care the cost. They are what I need to devote the next phase of my life to.
How to sell this and confirm I'm not insane?
I re-look at the pictures and again cannot say no the the family of four. The two would be easy, are gorgeous and will be picked up, as will the singles. I can feel it. Jake would adore three brothers, but I have to take the 4 although I'd love to take about 30 of them with me. The woman we are speaking to is headed back to Ethiopia in a couple of weeks. She has 3 kids biologically and has adopted 6 others, 3 from Ethiopia. The reason for her trip is to pick up #10, 11 and 12. She can't leave them behind either. Maybe I'm not so insane.
I write back with some questions and some thoughts. I get to work patching some drywall and then Hannah and I go to comfort a student whose dad died, and I'm tearing up consistently, not about Phil's dad, but about the kids.
As Hannah and I are coming home, we're stopping at the store for milk and I ask her on the way in, "Who did you like the most?" She said, "I like the 4, but it's crazy. 4!" We get home and Karen is there making supper. I ask Jake who he liked and to no one's surprise he wanted the three boys, but the angel that he can be I know he'll be ecstatic with anything. He goes with the flow like that really well. Before I throw some meat on the grill, I ask Karen who she likes. "I want you to decide," she says. She wants something, but doesn't want me to feel pressured into anything. She'll take whatever I'll allow her to.
I tell her I'm going to decide, but I'd value her input. All she says is that she wouldn't mind someone to cuddle. She's an infant freak like my mom. I know from that one comment that she wants the 4 also, but I remain silent through a rushed dinner as Hannah has a meeting she's late for.
I choose to take Hannah because I want to talk to Mark, my older brother. He lives insanity. Starting at 40, he adopts and then gets to 4 kids. He put on the applications that he can't handle a medically compromised kid and he gets 2. He knows the entire doctoral staff at Vanderbilt personally. He got the 4th child while unemployed. He knows insane.
I call him up and ask if he has any regrets. I have to rephrase to the kids :) The comments he is making are so incredibly confirming I know God is speaking through him straight to me because he's answering all sorts of questions I haven't asked, but were on my mind. I have to pull over, crying.
I tell him the story and he thinks I'm NOT crazy. His lovely wife comes on and she is even MORE encouraging. She speaks as one who has seen God so clearly through all their struggles and knows. Mark says I need to be careful in telling Karen I want the 4. I say you don't know my wife. She loves insane. It's me that plans. She decides to paint Hannah's room at 6 PM on a Sunday and stays up to 4 AM finishing it on a school night. I plan our vacation arriving within 10 minutes of when I said on the itinerary.
I come home, sit next to Karen, open up the computer, point to the four kids and say "I want these." She bursts into tears, and as I knew before, that's what she wanted too. When she had come home and read of their story, she couldn't finish and had to go to the other room and cry.
Jake wasn't too disappointed. He never is. I don't know if they yet appreciate the magnitude of how their lives are going to change, but I DO know they are prepared. They have been growing so much lately and will now live the sacrificial, prioritized life. Hannah was mad that others found out before her, but just kept saying that we were insane with a big smile on her face.
"Why didn't I talk to Karen more openly during the whole process?" you might be asking. God speaks in a still, small voice, and I wanted to make sure I was listening to Him, not her. Reread the story and see if you don't see His hand.
I went from self-centered to focusing my life on 4 strangers in a couple of days. I have no idea what's next. How do we work this out? How do we raise $30k+ for expenses? I don't know and I don't care. God got me into this mess, and the Lord's work, done in the Lord's time will never lack for God's support. It will all work out. It will take sacrifice beyond what I've ever done and I don't care. I have to walk through this door into a world far more exotic and dangerous than I've ever let happen to me before.
If you want to join with me and share my blessing, please do several things:
1) pray for us and for them and for the three boys that we did NOT choose. I am praying that someone reading this letter will hear, respond and get them.
2) For those of you with the ministry of giving, if the Lord has impressed upon you that you'd like to help, listen to Him for the amount hat you'd like to help with. It may be $5, it may be $5k. As He has prospered you and spoken to you, let that be your guide. Feel no pressure at all - again it is God who called us to this and not necessarily you, but I'd love for you to be a part of this. It's good to invest in something with permanence.
3) If you know someone who should be involved in this let me know or forward this to them.
I'll keep you posted on the progress as things develop.
In Him
Steve, for the Paulson 8!
Prologue:
"For by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourself, it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:8-10)
What is the nature of faith? I started thinking of this when Jake posted online about the kids, and a believing adult friend in his forum said, "Not to be a wet blanket, but it is irresponsible to think about adopting until all the money is in hand..." Is that faith? Is faith a blind leap? Godly faith isn't. Godly faith is doing what the end of the verse above says - doing what God has prepared for us to do. He does the prep, He plans it out, WE simply listen and walk into what's been done.
As a child I had faith that God's word was indeed God's word. 35+ years later, after much research and life examples, I am now even more sure that it is. It's not true because it works, it works because it is True. I had faith then and now that Jesus' price on the cross paid for my own guilt. The guiltless loving me enough to pay a debt He did not owe to ransom one who could never pay what he did owe. The Just One demanding the blood price be paid by the guilty party, then paying it Himself. Still unfathomable.
As a child I had faith I was going to be a vet. I wanted to be one. I have the aptitude and ability. In college, God told me to do something more with my life. Work for less money and more impact on people. After perusing several majors, teaching was the fit. Most think a good one, judging by my faithful formers who still love me and let me know I made a difference.
My plans, God's plans. Someone had to give. Would I have been a great vet? Undoubtedly. Would I have had more cash, status and personal freedom? sure, but I would not have listened to God's voice, and I would have missed so many more blessings than heartaches.
My plan on finishing college was to teach in NE for a while, do seminary and be a missionary. But... no job. In faith I listened to a small voice that told me to take this job out of state at this strange place I had never heard of before: Laredo, TX. I had never been south of Kansas City before. Mexican food was Taco Bell.
I ended up in a small town in a small church who desperately needed someone who had grown up in a church. Over the years, I led Bible studies, led youth groups and acted in various ministries within the church and found I WAS on a mission field and seminary was not needed. My plan. His plan.
Money has always been tight. I joke that when I was a child I was too poor to pay attention. The 6 of us did all right, and we never lacked for anything and frankly I never noticed I DIDN'T have it all until much later. Karen worked long enough to pay off college bills and then we jumped into our kids and one teacher's salary. Later when that one income turned into two, the extra income turned ugly. I became selfish and comfortable. I finally learned how to set aside more than just the money already going to good things (church, compassion international and the like) and started a "God fund." I'd collect money and save it until needed. Someone had a need, a number would feel right, and I'd write a check. Sometimes a pretty substantial one, from a teacher's perspective. It was a blast being a blessing to someone's need. Everyone needs to give, but some are blessed with the gift of giving. and can make money well, and God gave them that gift. How many use it only for themselves and miss out on the blessings and opportunities for growth?
My wife then quit her job as a teacher to go into ministry at church. part-time. Less money. Panic, or know God will provide? Hard to imagine God NOT wanting her to do this, since she has the gifts, attitude and calling, so it wasn't much of a leap of faith. It was a logical one. If God wants her to do this it will turn out all right. It did.
Notice it wasn't wait 'til the money is in line and then commit, like in the investor commercials. Being convinced that it's a God thing, you commit, and the proof comes later. That's faith. That's walking into the works God has prepared beforehand. That's what is rewarded, because God loves His children to act like He will come through, not for a new mercedes, but to fulfill what we know is His will.
My brother's second adoption needed a lot of money. They had squat. They said to God. "We know you want us to raise this child and we know you'll come up with the cash." Donations, rummage sales and the like all totaled up to just short of the total amount. Thrilled, they shut down operations when a knock came at the door. A Bible study group down the street heard about the situation and had collected some. Of course, those of you used to "the God thing" know it was exactly the difference between what was raised and what was needed. Another token to instill true faith.
My faith was getting fat. No money troubles, doing what I wanted, free time. Still making a difference, still serving, still teaching Bible study to grownups this time. But I was fat and lazy. I thought God was done with me for now - on cruise control. I was wrong.
Day 4 - compose, send above letter out and listen to the phone ring!
What a day - people coming out of the woodwork to encourage and affirm our choice. I had one generous man without hesitation tell me he'd build onto our home at cost. Others tell me they are praying and excited. Others telling their adoption stories. Then there was a strange call. Out of the blue. "I know fiancees are going to stress you out, so - this is God saying this, not me - we'd like to cover your expenses. I'll cut you a check for $30,000." I had just looked over steps I needed to take and the first few checks I could cover without hyperventilating, but that critical movement was going to come all too soon. I had told that adoption agency that I was sure this needed to be done and equally sure that God would provide. All the stories say so. Walk in what you know to be His will, and He will bless and provide. I've seen it in 100 ways big and small in my life and in many other's, but it still floored me. In my life, God always waits until the last second to intervene, to show He was doing it, not me, but this time He blesses us so soon!
"Before they call I will answer, and while they are still speaking, I will hear." (Isaiah 65:24) It's a promise God made to the Israelites to be fulfilled in the Kingdom, but nonetheless true for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
Day 5 - shower!
No, it wasn't the first time I took one - I assembled one! Finished (mostly) a home improvement project with the help of a friend and my kids. Nice to have a semi normal day before school launches. Got a couple more donations as people think of expanding Hannah's room, enlarging vehicles, new beds. I am continually overwhelmed at the outpouring of love. Keep the prayers coming! Also tried to pass off the three boys on a friend with two, lots of room, and loads of fun! So far, they don't want to share crazy, just watch.
Next phase: Panic!
What am I getting into? Am I a good enough parent to handle this much change? Can I get through the paperwork and life examination without a panic attack? Every web site on adoption says to be prepared for PADS, PTSD, ADHD, RAD, IEP's, but then I read some believer's stuff: Yes, it will be tough. Yes, it will be a major change in everything - wasn't parenting? But if God wants you in this no door will stay closed, and if He wants you out, no door will stay open. A close friend prayed with me and a great sense of calm came over me, and a sense of renewed joy. Listen to the right voices.
Next phase: Paperwork!
WOW! Who knew every phase of your life could be notarized? There are quite a few forms to fill out, books to read, filings to make, notaries to see, quizzes to take over the readings, seminars to register for, the home study to plan for, the Dossier to flesh out... lots of lists, check marks happening, progress being made... still much to go.
Major hurdle #1
Our caseworker went to Ethiopia to pick up some kids to make an even dozen in her home. While there, she was able to see our kids, show them a picture and greet them for us. The hurdle? The mom, who is very ill, decided in the past month that the two little ones will stay with her for now. The older ones, however, are very excited about seeing our picture and imagining life with us.
Now what? My head is spinning. Our commitment to the older two is firm. Do we wait a couple of years for the little ones? Adopt others as well since we have $$ raised? Is God saying, "Look, I like your obedience, but two is all you can take right now - more later" Is there something in the timing that needs to happen for the kids? Is the mom going to change her mind and all 4 will come back with us?
Moments of anxiety again as I am a planner, and now don't know what to plan for. After a day, I revert back to the plan of: I don't have a clue, but YOU put this on my heart and I'm just following Your lead into the darkness. I'm going to plan for 2, backup plan ready for 4, keep the paperwork rolling, the prayers flowing and listening to my heart and head.
So much yet to be done before that decision needs to be made. We can put down 4 children on my forms and come back with any number up to four, according to friends that have gone through the process. The timing doesn't have to change for those.
At times it's overwhelming to try to keep up with the daily stuff: collecting, reading, planning is like another full-time job. I'm so happy I'm well-versed in my job at school, that my routine is in place and doesn't require much tweaking to run smoothly. This looks like a good year - the kids seem bright and mostly motivated.
Thanks so much for those of you that have been praying faithfully, and to those who have given money to us. It is so encouraging to see that you believe in what we are doing and that you stand with us.
Sorry it's taken so long to update this - I'll be better!
Home study up on Thursday at 8:30 AM - please pray!
9.20.06 Home study went great!
Thanks to all who prayed for us! Paperwork is falling into place and the checklist is getting shorter. Our caseworker says maybe before the end of the year! (That would be a nice tax break!) We have a conference to go to in Washington State that preps parents for the trials of adopting older Ethiopian kids. I have a former student I love that only lives three hours away from the conference and he's going to come take us out to dinner! That will be a joy to see him again.
Karen is spending lots of time looking over all the kids still up for grabs.... there are a couple she really wants homes for! Any takers??? If the little ones don't come home with us, I don't know if I can't talk her out of some others.....
The time is drawing near when we will have done all we can and then it's hurry up and wait for things to be done in Ethiopia and with our INS forms. It's weird to see so much of life changing, and yet feeling at peace. Am I insane? We'll find out!
10/13... friday the 13th. I'm in a plane and it's late. I hate flying - the pressure changes drive my body crazy. Schedule wise, we are so totally like almost done! we just need to get one paper from the secretary of state, and one paper from our homestudy lady and then we file our Dossier in Ethiopia and our files with INS and that's it! Then it's wait for the time to take a really long flight to get our kids! This flight is to Spokane, Washington, where we (all 4 of us) are attending an adoption conference specifically for adopting older children from Ethiopia. We should all learn a lot and have many questions answered. It's also a great time because I get to see a couple of dear friends who are driving in from Seattle to see us on Saturday! The time is drawing much closer! Our kids may be here before Christmas! That would be amazing!
I'll let you know more as I find it out! I love you all! Keep praying!
10/16 back in a plane... I'm on the return flight now. It was quite a conference. LOTS of information - almost like drinking out of a fire hose. We heard lots of "this only happens in a small percentage of cases, but if it should happen to you, you need to know this." Fortunately, I am a public school teacher, and so I have learned most of that stuff either academically or by fire. Either way - it's scary. Lots of large families represented. Many have 6-8 biological and are getting more the other way, some had a couple bios and lots of adopted. One couple was going for #18! (Not all at once!) A few had never had children and were starting off with a 7 year old. May God give them the grace! I value my parenting experiences and my teaching experiences. Going in cold like that would be really terrifying! I had moments when I thought I should run now while I still can, but instead, it's the opposite... how about one more?
There is a special little 9 year old boy who looks like a real character. K has been in love with this child since she saw his picture a month ago. Jake of course wants more boys. Hannah thinks it's cool too. My thoughts have been that if the little ones couldn't come back, he would be a good one to grab: that only makes 7 - we can still fit in the van - we have the money in hand already, it's a boy in case we go back later for the girls. Then, by consensus, the three are attacking me - he should NOT be a backup plan. If the girls come, we need a larger vehicle anyway. No matter what, we should get him. Then it dawns on me. This is why the girls' situation arose. If they would have never been on the page, we may have gotten the original two, but never would have considered Abush. Now who can leave him behind? Call me even MORE crazy, but the number is now either 3 or 5 we're bringing back. Email me for his cute little face. Someone going to Ethiopia is going to ask the little girls' mother one last time her plans soon. Please pray that God's will will be done, whatever that might be, and keep praying for the kids without someone. Maybe that someone is you.
10.20.06 Done! with the paperwork. Today we sent off our Dossier and our I-600A form. The I-600A goes to San Antonio, we get a fingerprinting date, then we get approved to call an orphan a family member, able to be immigrated into the US. The Dossier goes to Spokane, WA, where our caseworker looks it over and hopefully finds no mistakes. She then sends it to SC to our Adoption agency who forwards it to the Ethiopian Embassy in DC. Then it travels to Ethiopia, gets translated, then into a pile awaiting a court date. If our kids are ready, and the I-600A is ready, the court date comes and we are declared the legal parents. We then can schedule our plane tickets. Once there, we meet the kids, then go before the consulate at the US embassy to declare that we will raise these kids properly. Then they are ours and the REAL adventure begins!
Clearly, there are many possible roadblocks in this scenario. Please pray for God's timing and our patience. Thanks for traveling on this road with us!
11/4/06 Well, we've been fingerprinted by Immigration and Naturalization, and there is so far no news from Ethiopia. Soon we hope to get some measurements and things so we can start building a wardrobe of sorts. Anyone have outgrown 9-12 year old boy stuff? I'm thinking slim ;) We've received several emails, calls and talks from people wanting to help but not knowing how. I've been raised to be self-sufficient, so it's hard to just ask for stuff, but if you are looking for a way to be a part of this we DO have needs: most pressingly, we need a couple of dressers or chest of drawers. I'll be building a couple of bunk beds, but my cabinet making skills are not good. We just purchased a larger kitchen table with 8 chairs and got a really good deal. So clothes and some drawers to put clothes in are the most pressing issues. Email me if you have something! Of course, we still need lots of prayer. Thanks for keeping us in them! We don't know what medical problems they will have coming in and what other issues may be below the surface. If you have not received our prayer letter and pictures - let me know and I'll send you a copy.
11/18/06 Father of Seven? Well, we've got news! A rep from our adoption agency was able to talk with the birth mother. She asked her how important it was to keep all the kids together. The mom said it was a high priority for her. The rep then explained all that goes through the adoption process and all that can go wrong. When the mom understood all this, she agreed that the best thing was for the kids to come with the older ones. So while it looked like 3 coming, it now looks like all 5! Please pray for the mother and ask that God will confirm her decision and will send her a friend to care for her.
We are still waiting for our federal form 171H which says we are approved to import orphans. After that is sent, our case is sent to Ethiopia where we are in line behind like 30 families, so it's looking like February? before they all come home. Please pray for stability in the Ethiopian region. Somalia and Eritrea are not being friendly right now.
We seem to have adequate storage now - dressers and a table are here, and hand-me-downs are being sent from all over - thanks to all who are sharing! We're still praying about a vehicle that can seat 9! Any advice would be welcomed! Anyone skilled in cabinetry that would like to help me build a couple of custom beds in the girls' loft??? We're still debating the bunks in the boys' room. They will all be built during Christmas break. Pray that I won't hyperventilate thinking about 7 kids and kindergarten all over again!
(In your best Marvin the Martian voice...)
12/13/06 Delays, Delays! Well, we're STILL waiting for our 171H... the CIS director wanted us to resend some form that wasn't pretty enough or something... I'm not sure what. So we wait. All our paperwork is in Ethiopia awaiting this form. Now I'm praying that it works out that I'll have to be gone during TAKS testing in February! THAT would be a blessing. During the wait, if you're a woman, you nest: redo everything in the home, prepare for the new arrivals, rename the kids, plan all sorts of things. Me? I think about all the things I have to build before they arrive, how many things can go wrong between now and then, how I wish I could have them NOW to make sure they are safe. Dad things.
In spite of all those feelings, I am more at peace with this than any major decision I have made. Perhaps I'm in denial, perhaps it's just so big I can't control any part of it anyway, so why try? I'm not concerned over the timing, just again would like to have them under my wings, so to speak.
Thanks for your prayers and support, and know that I WILL need your prayers even more once they are here, especially for the first transitional year. It WOULD be nice to officially be in line though... ;)
01/01/07 Happy New Year! I WISH I was telling you we are in line! but it seems we need another addendum to our Homestudy... We've also heard news that beginning today, there is a new CIS officer, so while that actually may mean more delays as the new officer has to look over our file, it should bode well for others coming behind us. I'm getting advice from many people how to best build these beds, and we got our first box of clothes from others! We had a nice final Christmas as a small family. We continue to get encouragement from all sorts of people - some of whom we don't even know! Thanks for all of you helping us out!
01/08/07 Next hurdle?! When we found out the girls were coming, the caseworker also told us that the other lady from the agency was not able to locate Abush. Sometimes people don't look very hard, sometimes the family is on 'vacation' - it usually sorts itself out, but he has never been told that we want him. Our caseworker is headed back to Ethiopia Jan 15 - 29, when she will search high and low for him. The problem? If she cannot find him this time, there will be no time for us to get him before we are headed over ourselves. Do we know when THAT will be? No, still waiting on that last form. News from our bureaucracy travels slowly, and usually a syllable at a time, but we are confident that an answer will be coming at just the right timing with our other news in Ethiopia. Please pray! that the Lord will bring home with us the kids that are right for our situation. The boy's room is 99% finished and ready for three, while the girl's room still needs some work before it is ready, but at the rate our paperwork is going, there is still plenty of time!
2/2/07 Progress! After 15 weeks in the system, we have our 171H, which means the government has pre-approved us to immigrate orphans. This is normally a 4 to 6 week process, but we got the deluxe tour. After much waiting and a couple of cryptic messages by mail, we finally were able to talk to a real person over at the INS field office. We have a friend that works in a related field in the area who was able to bend their ear a bit and determine exactly what it was that they didn't like about our paperwork so we could fix it. Our homestudy provider complied quickly and our inside man hand-delivered the study to the supervisor and the next day we got it in the mail!
I spoke with our caseworker who had just returned home from Ethiopia, and we received a mixed blessing there. The four siblings are ready and eager to come, there has been no change in the mother's heart regarding all 4 coming, in fact they were complaining that they thought they would be here already! so apparently they are as ready as we are to get this ball rolling. (Hannah, while eager, is enjoying the calm before the storm.)
She also sent the bad news: despite sending many kids out with flyers with Abush's picture on it, no one has seen him in months, so apparently his aunt and uncle have moved to a new location. We were hoping the paperwork snag had a purpose other than to build endurance in us, but as of now, we seem to be back at the Paulson 8, as we started. Abush could miraculously appear in the next few weeks and still make it, but it would have to be a real "God thing" at this point. We are ready for him if he does come, but if not, the boys will have to be greatly outnumbered by the ladies. Either way, his fate, as ours, is in the Lord's hand.
It's nice to officially be in line now for the adoption. We've been on hold for several months now, and many of the families at the adoption conference who were in line with us are either traveling now or already have sent pictures of their kids at home! Our caseworker should tell Ethiopia today that we are cleared, which means that soon (relatively speaking) the children are moved to a foster home in Addis, the capital city, followed by a hearing where the mother officially terminates her rights to the kids a couple weeks later. We then get in the line for the actual adoption, which takes place by proxy in Ethiopian courts. Once the kids are officially ours, the US embassy is notified and an appointment is set up a couple weeks later to meet with them. We fly in and meet the kids, then the next day approve with the Consulate that we DO want these children and can afford them, and get the last papers signed, so there you have our prayer list! Keep praying that things will move, that favorable decisions made and that we stay patient while waiting for HIS timing, not ours. As the Lord wills, before March is over, maybe early April, we WILL be the Paulson 8(or 9)! Thanks for standing with us before Him!
2/11/07 Shower the people you love with love! Our church family held a "baby" shower for us this weekend. It was extremely humbling to see and hear all the people who are standing with us with prayer support, comfort, financial aid, and it was fun to see how many people are as impatient as we are to squeeze those kids! I thank all of you who have helped us so much through these past 6 months.
It's amazing how many little kids are praying for Abush. I don't know what will happen; will God let their prayers be answered they way they want it to turn out? or will this be a lesson in, "Sometimes God says No, but He always has a plan, we just don't know all of it..." Clearly our whole extended group has a love for this boy. If God brings him along, great! If not, it was not to be. His fate, as all of ours, is in His hands and we've asked only that He bring the right mix to our home. We had four teenagers over last night watching movies, eating pizza and making noise, and my wife says, "This is how full our home will be soon!"
"AAAAUUUUGH!"
Luckily, most are smaller than those large boys that were over! Our caseworker promised a new video clip from her last visit, so we'll have to wait for that one to arrive. It's more info than we had before Hannah and Jake came along, but in some ways this waiting is worse: with birth you have a pretty good idea when you will see them for the first time, with adoption there are too many factors changing like the weather. Imagining how beautiful your children will be is fun with childbirth, seeing them in tiny clips and pics but not able to hold them yourself, or even knowing when it will come about is hard! It's like before Christmas when you're little.
The boy's room is outfitted with new mattresses and sheets and is 99.9% done. Still waiting for the main part of the older girl's bed to get finished so we can slap that puppy together, but we could be ready pretty quickly! Thanks again for standing with us!
3/01/07 Big News!! Our children are now in Addis Abbaba, Ethiopia's Capitol at our agency's foster home. Their village paperwork was completed last week, and today they moved! Sadly for them, they have said "goodbye" to their mom, friends and the home they have known, and have begun, happily, their new adventure! We're slowly getting pics of them in their new environment. The girl's room has been repainted and the new piece is here, the bed "just" needs to be built around it. That should happen within the next few weeks. The kids are now in line with the courts, and need two court dates before we can go over. We'll let you know more when we do! but the process is proceeding finally to a more tangible part, and we could have them by the end of April, maybe a bit sooner depending on court dates.
3/08/07 We have a court date! We are scheduled for Wednesday, March 21! At this hearing, our advocate in Ethiopia will stand in for us and officially adopt the kids into our family. Please pray that the judge approves our dossier, and that there are no delays! If all goes as it should, we should be proud parents of 6 in no time! Assuming the court date goes through, our embassy date would be April 17, meaning that I will miss TAKS week (our wonderful week of standardized testing mandated by the state) by being in Ethiopia! Some friends we made in October were at the foster home last week picking up their kids and got a chance to see our kids and take a couple pictures of them! They are so cute! email if you want a peek! It's getting really close now!
3/22/07 It's Official! I'm a dad of 6! Our court date came and went and we heard nothing from our caseworker even though Ethiopia is 9 or 10 hours ahead of us. I finally called at about 6 to find out that Ethiopia was down that day - it seems all telecommunications, phone and email - are triggered out of one satellite uplink, and when that is lost, all communications with North America are lost until it is corrected. Not what we're used to, but if I don't communicate when I'm over there, you'll know why! We got the call today that all went well, and our kids are now officially Paulsons! In fact, the courts there give kids their dad's name, so my children are officially Shataye Stephen Paulson, Esayas Stephen Paulson, Sarah Stephen Paulson, and Tseganesh Stephen Paulson, at least until we change that at our Embassy appointment. We do NOT have a firm date on that yet, although it typically falls a few weeks later, so it SHOULD be April 17, or the week following. (I want April 17!)
There is much to do between now and then, but the rooms are really looking good! Grandpa came down with his magnificent railings that we installed together in the lofts (Thanks!) and I spent the better part of spring break shuttling between home and Lowes/Home Depot building the beds in the girl's loft. They look really cool! Come by and see, or beg for pictures!
Speaking of pictures.... (nice transition, eh?) now that the kids are officially Paulsons, I can post their pictures! I made a quickie collage of some of the shots of them we have. The names posted above are the listing in age order - you'll figure it out.
Please spend a few moments Praising God with us for all the ways He has guided this process through all the twists and turns... and keep praying that now that it's official, we travel well, all goes smoothly and that the beginning weeks go well! Of course, as there is more news, I will relay it here, so begin to check back often, especially as the travel dates draw near. I hope to get daily updates during that time, but as things are slow there, internet-wise, it will be easier for me to just upload a posting than to try and respond/send emails. I know you understand.
It's real. It's now. My family has doubled in size, and my wife never looked better! Thanks for standing with us and continuing to hold us up in the presence of the Lord!
4/05/07 Time to Pack! I'm heading to Africa! We FINALLY got the call that indeed our embassy date IS the 17th. We HAD thought that we'd get there, do some mission work scouting and then meet the kids on Monday, go to the Embassy on Tuesday, shop Wed or Thurs. The best laid plans.... due to large waiting lists for the foster home, the children are now given to you pretty much when you arrive, so we'll have them the whole time, so our itinerary will change a bit, as will $$ for hotels, as we'll need two rooms, most likely the whole stay. We have had no luck trying to contact other locations to stay in. We're getting some last shots tomorrow, gathering paperwork, Grandma is driving down to stay with the kids, LOTS of things still on the check-off list.
AAAUUUGH! There are several thing I even FORGOT I need to do, but we have a 4 day weekend to get it all done, and I'm sure it will work.
We got a call today from our credit card company - has our card been stolen? There have ben a number of strange, large charges on our bill... I assured them that we DID authorize those $$plane tickets$$ and a bunch of other things...
PLease pray for travel, for my sanity, for getting all the stuff in place, for nothing important to neglect to get packed...
And we'll be back every day or so with more updates!
OK, so getting back with updates here didn't work so well. The e-mail bit did work, so I'll stick those in here now!
4/11/07 Plane trip! Here we are, stuck in the airport in DC. We didn't get to see anything special from the air - I know we don't fly over the white house or anything, but I hoped to catch a glimpse of SOMETHING! Maybe on the way out.
It was an interesting flight up - when we got to the airport and unloaded all the bags, Karen reached over, locked the door and shut it. Keys in ignition, car running. You're off the hook, Jake - at least you were in kinder when YOU did that! Fortunately, she had a spare I had made for her that doesn't do the ignition, but DOES open the locks. We were both a bit panicked before she found that key!
We're taking turns walking around the airport, getting in some much-needed exercise before our long flight. I hope to sleep a LOT on this flight, and I hope they have DC power available at the seats so I can play on the computer while flying. I don't like the way pressure changes make my body feel, but I'll be all right once we're back to earth after a day or so.
I love you guys a lot, and I hope we'll be able to contact you often, but if not, see you in a couple of weeks!
xxoo, me
4/13/07 WOW!
It's been so busy so far! I got NO sleep on the plane. Karen was able to curl up against the wall, but there was NO legroom, and I couldn't even bend over and sleep on my lap. The good news was the sun came up at about 1:30 AM Laredo time, so once the light was hitting my eyes it wasn't so unbearable. (on the return flight, we should have like 17 hours of night, just to get even) The flight, other than sleep, wasn't that bad. The food was good, at odd times for my body, but .... We landed in Addis, went through the VISA line, the baggage line, the money exchange line, and then the customs line, met Dagne and then headed to our hotel. Dagne told us that the kids wanted him to call from the airport to tell then that we had arrived for sure. There's a U.N. conference going on right now, so all the major hotels are booked through the beginning of May, so we're in a hotel that we weren't expecting, and will look around for a guest house somewhere.
We got some halfway decent sleep last night, but my body still doesn't accept the time change fully. We got up, had breakfast, and then Karen was going crazy waiting for the departure time. Our driver showed up and took us quickly through the city. Addis Ababa is a city of about 5 million people, so it's huge and crowded. It looks and smells like Nuevo Laredo, and you see people by the side of the road doing the same things, but the building materials and style are a bit different. It's about 7000+ ft of altitude here, so I feel a bit weird. The biggest difference between Addis and N Laredo, other than the darker pigmentation, is the COMPLETE lack of anything resembling road rules. I thought drivers across were wild! Seat belts are considered an insult, I saw in five hours of driving 4 traffic lights - there are NO signs like stop, yield or the like. When you get to an intersection, it's survival of the fittest. The cars talkRoad condition and speeds change in a heartbeat, people just make their own lanes everywhere and people are walking in the street around these drivers! It's truly amazing.
We pull into the foster home and there on the left is Esayas. He ran to the door, open it up and grabbed Karen in a big hug that lasted a couple minutes. He then turned to me similarly as the little ones arrived for their hugs. Shataye showed up last, also with a huge hug for us. No shyness whatsoever. They are intelligent, sensitive, thoughtful, clean up after themselves, funny, and interested in all of our stuff. Just like Jake, Esayas grabbed a camera and asked how to work it. We spent several hours there seeing their rooms, giving out little gifts to the kids, taking pictures and translating the important things to them through the counselor.
(Karen writing now)
On the driving, I felt like the driver had been told that I was about to DELIVER four children by his manner. Even pulling out of the parking space was done at emergency speed.
Back to the counselor. She said that Shataye and Esayas are humble kids and that she really liked their characters. The kids grew up Lutheran and she said Shataye especially was devoted and that when other children were leaving or arriving to the foster home the kids prayed for them without being told to do so. She thought the older children and their mom are believers. When we asked about their mom, Shataye said that her mom believed we would raise them well and that is why she was able to let them go. The counselor said that Shataye was already cleaning houses to help support the family. It was clear that they were loved by all there. All the workers wanted to take their pictures with the children.
Esayas has completed fifth grade and Shataye sixth. We do not know how we were told seventh.
The little ones both have some kinder. The kids ages on their birth certificates could very well be correct which means Shataye would be 12, Esayas 11, Sarah 7, and Tseganesh 6. But we will watch them more to see. The counselor thought at most one year older for both Shataye and Esayas. She and I hit it off right away. She was very interested in hearing our story and tomorrow we are meeting with her and her fiance who is a pastor to discuss ministry possibilities.
At the hotel the kids showed that the know our alphabet and how to write it, even the little ones. Shataye picked up one of the children's books we have and read it out loud. Shataye and Esayas do know Amharic (which is wonderful because we have a computer translation program for that at home) and they know many English words. Tseganesh repeats everything we say and will have English down in no time. As far as bonding I'd say we've made a good start. They are all affectionate and the little ones must sit on either side of me in the car, etc. Tseganesh likes to play with my hair and hands.
Esayas likes football. Shataye like to cook (YEAH!) Both like math and Shataye likes English.
(Steve again)
Esayas is very affectionate. It is very common to see young men holding hands here, or fathers and sons walking with arms around each other. He likes to hold my hand. The kids are fascinated with my hair. I think I'm taller than they expected. We were at a playground and they all took turns showing off for us. "Dad, dad!" you'd hear whenever I was not watching closely enough. Esayas wants to go swimming. We packed suits for the kids, but forgot ours! So I'll have to try to find one here.
Sarah doesn't appear to be the wild child we had her pegged as. Now Tseganesh... not too bad, but she's a bit spoiled and likes her way. All babies do, but we'll keep that one on the front burner.
We showed them some pictures, and then I introduced them to tobymac. They liked him, so they have good taste. Well, at least in music... for lunch they wanted injera. I'm glad I knew the rituals beforehand from our training session, since they all start with the dad. They are all good eaters. Shataye wanted me to eat more than I did, but that was all I could handle. (for the record kids, fresh injera is MUCH better than the old stuff we had at the conference.)
Shataye has a cough that sounds like bronchitis could be near. Hopefully just allergies, not tuberclulosis. Please pray for this, but beyond that, they all look really good. Some scars and a few odd marks here and there, but overall healthy kids.
The little ones just showed up in their swim suits and gave me a kiss. Too cute. Now it's the new jammies. "look dad, Pajamas! (pretends to sleep)" another kiss.
Well I'll leave for now. Please keep praying for health for all and good communication. Their language skill are MUCH better than I had feared. Speaking of language, both Karen and I keep trying to bust into Spanish whenever our point is not being made... too much living on the border!
xxoo, me
4/15/07 Day 2ish
Well, I feel like a mom of little ones again. Within 24 hours, I already placed a cold cloth against a bruised eyebrow (result of spinning chair in circles) and placed a bandaid with a kiss on a cut finger (result of playing with Dad's razor). Same child both times -- Sarah.
Tseganesh, the youngest, is a leader. She likes to tell everyone what to do, especially Sarah. But we are working on her "leadership" skills. By 10 AM today (Saturday) she was in timeout and later at night once again. She's getting the idea. Later she raised her hand to strike, looked at me, smiled angelically and then lowered her hand.
All the children are wonderful bed makers. Yesterday (Friday)Tseganesh took a nap and immediately afterwards jumped up and made the bed. The rest of us Paulsons are going to have to kick it up a notch on that skill.
Let me go back a little to Friday. After we picked up the children, we went to the Ghion park to play. Tseganesh and Sarah learned how to swing and then it was "Mom, Mom" and "Dad, Dad." look at me or something like that in Wolaytan. All the kids seem to get a special pleasure out of calling us Mom and Dad. We had a great time on all the equipment, some of it different from what we have in the States. One man at the park talked to Shataye and wanted to know what the deal was with our family. She explained and he nodded with approval "very good."
At supper the waiter was also extremely intrigued. Finally he asked me where did we get these children? Basically did we take them off the street. I explained adoption, but he then asked if Shataye was coming to our home as a servant. I said no that she was our daughter. Then looking at Esayas he wanted to know if we didn't have a son. I said no that we had a son at home. I explained some more. A light went off as he realized these were our children for children's sake. He thought it all a great opportunity and next wanted to know -- quite humbly and with all sincerity -- if we could take his son with us. I wanted to cry. Steve jumped in and explained that an orphan had to be fatherless with a mother in dire straights. He understood. Before we left he gave Esayas advice about not touching things carelessly (Esayas had picked up the small camera to take a picture without wiping his hands.) He wanted these Ethiopian children to remember where they are from -- a noble people.
The hotel we are staying at, the Desalgen Hotel, is not a typical one for adopting families and seems to be mainly for business men with an occasional wife. So the children were a novelty at breakfast Saturday morning. Again, we were assessed. But the staff was too polite to ask. I think by the end of the meal, though, we had passed muster as a loving family, for today (Sunday) at breakfast the children were greeted with smiles of welcome.
On Saturday, we went to a typical Ethiopian restaurant as we did on Friday, but this time with guests, Ahauloshet, the children's counselor at the foster home, and her fiancee, whose name I do not know how to spell Dega...something. I will find out tomorrow when we go to do the children's paperwork for our embassy appointment. The restaurant is just as you see in the movies of Middle East setting with lots of reds and golds and drapings. A young woman at the door sat cross legged performing the "coffee ceremony," that is stirring coffee beans on a hot skillet. We gathered round a large table basket and the injera (picture a 18 inch torilla was covered with a variety of pastes and meats. To drink, Coke, of course. Coke is advertised all over the place. I had asked Ahauloshet Friday if there was a ministry for teenage girls who leave the orphanage, some sort of transition ministry to help them enter the real world and avoid the many dangers of an impoverished woman in this country. She told me at lunch that she thought about it all night. Her fiancee listed all the different ministries he has started and now he wants to start a church of both quality and quantity in Addis, but he's more interested in quality. He believes in training leaders to train leaders to teach the Word and is very much is in line with our philosophy at Grace. He has at least one PhD and a masters in counseling. Ahauloshet also has a masters in counseling. He gave me some great advice but I am not sure I can pursue the ministry as he is proposing, for he wants me to move to Ethiopia! ( I should have mentioned that Steve had left the restaurant shortly after we arrived with a migraine. He is better today, thank the Lord.) I was hoping that they knew of some existing ministry that we could partner with but they did not. Ahauloshet is ready to give her weekends to this ministry the need is so great. She said right now everyone is focused on the younger orphans, but there is little for the almost future leaders of Ethiopia. Please pray.
After coming from the restaurant, we spent the day in the hotel since Steve was so sick. It is amazing what you can come up with to do with children who don't know your language for an entire day in small quarters. We played hide the ball and I taught them "cold, warm, warmer, hot, HOT!" and hide n go seek African style and volleyball and soccer. All ball games were played with one of those small squeezy stress relief type balls. I taught them American hand games and they taught me Ethiopian ones. I taught them how to "einny miney mo" and they taught me their version of determining who is it. Esayas and Shataye learned how to type on the computer, play Tetras and Snood. The little ones played with play dough and colored.
When Steve came out to throw up, Tseganesh cried and Shataye bowed her head, to pray I think. Today when he was clearly better, their joyous smiles brought tears to my eyes. Both little ones jumped in bed with him for a morning hug.
Today we are dressed for church. Mom, the pink dresses and actually everything for the little ones fits wonderfully. Shataye is dressed in her jeans, petite size four, again a perfect fit. I was surprised to see her dressed so American today as she wore skirts the first few days. I hope jeans are appropriate for church in Ethiopia as I didn't want to send her back to change when she seemed so proud of her American look.
I will close here
This is steve
I get migraines of various types, but only occasionally, thank the Lord, do I get the really bad type. These give you a tiny bit of advanced warning when you are missing spots from your vision, as I was when we sat down to lunch. I excused myself and told them that I must be driven back to the hotel room where I had some medicine I hoped would work. He asked if I would be returning, and I said No, I would be quite incapacitated soon. He was concerned I would be not eating, and I assured him I would not be eating for at least a day. It was a really bad one, with the full bouquet of symptoms, and lasted about 12 hours. Today I am relaxing and resting, as you feel hung over for a couple of days after one like that. The kids are confused and concerned. I was ready for Richard to come give me a shot, but I didn't even know what was IN that shot last time. Please pray that THAT doesn't happen again, at least not in Africa.
The supermarkets here are about the size of a convenience store, with often times the meat cut and waiting with no refrigeration. Esayas and I went to many stores yesterday, looking for things. I found a swim suit that Karen forgot to pack for me although it's probably too tight. I just saw medium and the first one that wasn't outrageous. Prices here are odd. A fancy meal for the six of us in a restaurant runs $20, but they want $80 for a curling iron. running down to the store for a quick whatever you can find in any store around, like a deck of cards, for example, is an odyssey. At the fanciest store we found, we were shown a card table complete with three decks, but you could not purchase just the deck. I was told perhaps a stationary store or a sports store would carry them. Most shops are tiny and crowded like in Mexico, but filled with different things.
It's fun to watch the kids. They are all unique. Shataye is very bright, determined, hard-working, and always wants to do the right thing. I climbed out of bed this AM expecting to climb back in later, and when I turned around she was making my bed! She is the most reserved of the kids, yet she is trying hard to be at ease with us. It will be the hardest for her to trust us completely and to surrender to our leadership. She is learning very quickly and understands a lot when you speak to her. She reads children's books well already, although I do not know how much is comprehension and how much is pronounciation. They all like electronics, and we'll have to be better on showing them the rules. Esayas saw the computer and asked games? I pulled out the gameboy and he knew what it was, and had plaed Tetris before, although not much, based on his skill level ;). All like to type and mess with the computer, and we haven't even shown a movie yet. We know they've seen movies on TV. When flipping through pictures of home, I had included some animal pictures I thought we could build vocabulary with. On was a little crab spider on a cactus I had taken a close up of. Esayas said Spider man, then did the wrist thingy. The two older ones watched Shark boy and lava girl on TV one night and seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.
We've learned a lot more about the family they came from. The father died about 4 years ago, so Tseganesh probably was not even walking yet, and it's doubtful Sarah remembers him at all. Even Esayas will have limited memories of him. They have an older brother that is 18 whom they love very much. They have a picture of him that they kiss. The mom was definitely a believer, and will have the eldest boy to look after her, so our prayers in these regards are answered. They are carefully transcribing names and phone numbers into their new journals. I hate to tell them how expensive a call would be.
The little ones are funny. Sarah is much more quiet and shy than Tseganesh. They are both learning their body parts and other words. Tseganesh repeats everything, but I think she just likes to mimic. We're getting to know all their scars and details. It's amazing how many little marks are on their bodies. A much less sanitized world than our other two kids grew up in. Tseganesh pulled out a belt, folded it in half and pretended to hit herself with it, so we know they're familiar with a spank. Sarah has reddish hair, not really predominantly so, but more so, and she has the fairest skin, She is by far the lightest in weight; all the other kids are more solid. When the hair is up in pigtails, they look almost bald, but when it out and being combed, boy is there hair! Karen is having fun learning new hair skills. The girls take 2 hours each morning to get ready - Esayas is ready in 5 minutes... some things cross culture really well!
Monday we will go back to the foster home so the kids can brag to their friends while we get our federal forms filled out, and then our embassy appointment is on Tuesday to get their visas; past that it is time to sight-see, shop and all that touristy stuff, while hopefully making a few more contacts. I'm ready for home already, but what's new there? I especially miss food - I'm dying to bust into a kitchen and make some tacos. I wish Hannah and Jake could be here, but it's already very crowded, and while we miss you two terribly, it IS nice to get in a little bonding time before you steal away your siblings from us! You guys are going to blend well together, and you'll be fighting in only a week!
I've already told them about the long long long long long long long time we spend on the plane and how many times we have to go up and down.
Karen again,
Jake, Esayas is truly a kindred spirit to you. He is always active and looking for fun. Like you, he is very affectionate and laughs easily. Yesterday, while playing hide n seek, he was really hamming it up, pretending he was a wolf or hyena maybe? sniffing them out. They were wild with giggles.
And, Hannah, though quieter than you, Shataye has your strong heart and passion. When she learns English, you two can have long conversations about taking on the world.
We just came back from church. It was a beautiful building, modern, an almost diamond shape with lots of windows and a wood ceiling and occasional pillars. The main building was in the forefront and then classrooms surrounded the church in a U with a court yard between the sanctuary and the classrooms. The service was in English and very much like our church at home; we even sang two familiar songs. The pastor preached on Exodus, which I've been reading through for the last week. The heart of it is God is sovereign and in control so you can either choose that reality or what the world (Egypt) is subjugated under. We saw a few other adopting families there. The kids were reunited with a baby they loved at the nursery "very happy baby" they told me. The children were very well behaved at church.
Well, we are off to lunch and perhaps the beauty salon. My attempts this morning are all coming undone and so let's see what the professionals can do, hopefully something that will last for two weeks!
We love you all and thank you for your continued prayers.
God's joy and strength to you,
(I always close with that and last night read Exodus 15. When I read verse 2, I thought it expressed my closing and full heart on this trip well.)
the Paulson 8
4/16/07 day 4ish
Sunday after church Steve was able to join us, so we went to the Hilton for a wonderful (expensive) lunch buffet. Steve said the waitress must have sized up Tseganesh's character, for she placed her at the head of the table. The Hilton was very surreal. Ethiopian musicians sang American songs mimicking the original singers almost perfectly. Families from all over the world were eating or swimming together. And non-families had a Hollywood look, and attitude, about them. Steve spotted a naked man standing out of his balcony on the 7th floor. Thankfully, the children did not. The children were a little overwhelmed with the choices of food, but Steve enjoyed his first meal in 24 hours.
Then Steve and Esayas left for our internet fix and and I took the girls to the beauty salon. The beautician told me the braiding would last for 25 days. That will give me some time to figure this hair situation out, hopefully. The little ones each kissed their hairdresser when they were done. One of the adoption books told us not to expect a grateful orphan and while we are not seeking gratitude, the little ones often respond to focused attention and little gifts with several kisses. Sarah does have some scalp issues and we will need to consult the nurse when we go the foster home tomorrow. Steve called the girls Ethiopian princesses and each posed for pictures.
When we came home the children entertained us with songs from Soddo. They stomped their feet and clapped their hands and swayed a little. One of the songs that the little ones sang alone was about Jesus (Yesusa)
Today, Monday, we went to the foster home again to complete our paperwork for the Embassy appointment on Tuesday. The children all said their final good-byes with much hugs, kisses, (and tears on Shataye's part). Eyob, who escorts us to the Embassy, calls Shataye "pastor." He says she is a beautiful worship leader with the children and teaches them. She told him many times that she wants to be an evangelist. Esayas, he says, maybe will be a minister, but when we asked Esayas he said he wants to be a doctor. We shall see. He said that all the children love Jesus and are a very united group. "I love these children," he told us. We are so overcome with gratitude to the Lord for choosing these four for us. I don't think I can even express it right now.
After the foster home, we joined two other families who also have embassy appointments on Tuesday for lunch and some shopping on Church Road. So far I bought the stuff for Sisters in the Groove and some traditional outfits for the kids, but that's as much as I could do because I was battling nausea. I did find some medicine for it, though, in one of the pharmacies and feel much better now.
For the first two days Tseganesh reminded of someone but I couldn't think of who it was. Finally I figured it out. She is like the little boy in Life Is Beautiful in mannerisms and way of speaking. She is a real crackup.
Steve now...
Driving through this crowded city all you smell is exhaust. No AC anywhere, so open windows means no escaping it. That part I don't like, but the rest is kind of fun. They usually make me sit up front, so I know all the drivers well by now. I'm also getting better at not slamming on my imaginary brake under my feet, but I'll never completely lose that one. It was fun to see mixed in with the many taxis flocks of goats and sheep being herded down the crowded street, donkeys carrying large sacks of grain on their backs... people milling in the traffic. It's amazing. The people! All shapes sizes and statuses. The rich in business suits next to the impoverished family in rags. I wish I could stop and photograph all these contrasts, but there is no time, and logistically..... sorry for those of you expecting a wonderful photo essay from me, but this trip is so busy and there just isn't the time and places to do what I'd love to.
The people here are so friendly and loving. Even the way they yell at each other in the taxis is kind compared to what you see in the states. All adults shepherd each kid. The waitresses all want to mother the little ones, people on the street offer advice to the older ones. Everywhere, we make a conspicuous group, but nobody looks down, they all see a tremendous opportunity for the kids. They often talk of their love for Ethiopia but how hard making a life is here and how they'd love to visit USA or Canada for a chance to do anything to make it better. The women here! Wow! there are Soooooo many drop-dead gorgeous women walking around everywhere... this would be the place to come for a bride!
The kids are learning the Hokey-Pokey right now, and they're giggling madly. I miss AC, real speakers, microwaves, fast food, snacks. munches - these people HAVE to try American stuff! but MY kids will know all too soon all the comforts they cannot imagine fully now.
Thanks to all of you praying for us. I've been great, although I wish there was "normal" food to eat. Even American food here isn't quite right. I saw some refried beans in a can today at a store (No jalapenos!) but there was nothing near to a tortilla to be found anywhere... I'm about ready to bust into a kitchen and teach these people how to cook Laredo! Karen's been nauseated lately, probably from all the exhaust. Our Embassy date is tomorrow (Tues) about 7 AM your time. It's getting dark here, but I look at my watch and see Hannah's just in 2nd block right now. Too weird. After that we'll all go for injera once (last) time to celebrate. and then more shopping and out to the countryside where I can finally take a picture or two that looks scenic, then another meeting, but that's all for the next message!
Love you all! Be good Jake and Hannah! We'll be back soon!
4/17/07 embassy day!
Karen was up sick last night. I don't know if she finally caught what Jake and I had had, or if she picked up something here, but she feels lousy, gastro-intestinally. I'm a little less than perfect myself. Fortunately, if it gets bad for either of us, one of the people we met that is also adopting that is now staying at our hotel is a doctor, so we're covered! They came down to breakfast yesterday and our kids ran over to their kids. They have an infant girl and a 1.5 yr old boy that the kids knew from the foster home. We traveled with another mom, a nurse, who just picked up her 10 year old who speaks really good English, so he was our interpreter for the day. She was happy to be with a group, since she was traveling alone. Her mom was coming, but had booked a cruise a long time ago and of course the travel date hit the same week as the cruise.
We went shopping at a market place that is exactly like the mercado across, but with Ethiopian items. The kids were going crazy. They all wanted something out of the first shop. I just hope they don't look farther and realize that you CAN wait and see if there is something different/better. The little ones LOVE their wardrobe. Each morning they argue over what to wear, then usually trash it during breakfast. Tseganesh was on her third outfit by noon yesterday. Today we made it through breakfast with only a little spilled tea (shai) on the pants. Sarah made it through cleanly. I was proud of them! Tseganesh was braiding my hair very roughly a while ago while Sarah was on my lap watching me play Tetris. They were all amazed at my mad skills. The older two usually get less than 10 lines before they die. I remember how hard it was at first too.
We're going to take it easy today since Karen's not feeling well, so we'll just go stir crazy in the room waiting until 2 when we go to court. I've been to 8 stores trying to find a deck of cards... no luck so far, but hope springs eternal. It will be nice to be home in less than a week where we can spread out more and have more options for entertainment! Tseganesh types"z caxsxcdcvbjnhkuiy" to you. Esayas just got 25 lines on Tetris, so there was much rejoicing! The three older kids have nicknames or "house names" Shataye is called "Mimi," Esayas is called "Abush" so we got an Abush after all, and Sarah is called "wooshoo" Tseganesh's closest to a nickname is Tsa-ga which is called out often as she is corrected or called to to not do something. She loves to bust into fake crying whenever she doesn't get her way, so we're getting really good at ignoring that, and praising Sarah for her good behavior instead of pointing out the bad behavior. The kid love play-dough, which is all one color now...
**************
Well I'm back now from a long day. It was a great day. First of all all of the CWA cases went through without a hitch at the embassy - not always the case, especially with older ones like we have. Thanks for bending God's ear for us! This morning Shataye was kneeling, praying in her bed. And on the way to the embassy, Esayas was bent over, so Karen asked if he was okay. He said he was praying. After our "Congratulations" from the embassy worker, these two were all smiles. Shataye told Dagne "That was very important." She understood. All the CWA families gathered in a circle there at the embassy for prayer and praise. It was beautiful.
We went out for traditional Ethiopian food at a really neat place and the food was the best we've had here. I have such a love-hate relationship with this place. I miss home, especially the food (I'll have to remember that for the kids' sake) but I DO love it here. The people are so good. I love the CWA workers here - they are all such kindred spirits and so much in love with Jesus. They really understand what would happen to these kids if left here and know what they are getting, yet are in no hurry to leave themselves.
Eyob (Job) has become a close friend. He is a college-educated 29 year old who is passionate about his people and the kids, who just adore him. He belongs to a evangelical church just outside town. He sometimes has to walk several hours to get there. It started as about 10 believers and now numbers about 16000. They are building satellite churches, but the need is so great and the people here have so few resources. They want to build a decent church building which will cost $150 000 Birr - that's less than $17 thousand in USD, but such a huge amount to them. His job before CWA? He worked with Compassion! He says he cries harder with the adoption kids - it touches his heart more.
The one thing I love best about being a believer is that no matter what spot on the globe you are on, you find so many others that are exactly like you, that have all your experiences and passions! with slightly different twists. I first learned this during college working in Inter-Varsity with international students and I see it even more strongly here. Eyob and I are so much alike, and I know we're building a relationship that will last and will matter for eternity. If you want to invest in something real in an area of believers that need our help, let me know.
The poverty here is overwhelming. It's amazing as you see 60 year old women doing construction labor, educated men who have nothing to do but labor or taxi driving for pennies. You can get a taxi driver to take you anywhere, wait for you recommend, just about anything, all for less than $5 an hour USD. The farms in the area our kids come from are green and beautiful, but there are so many people packed in that the farm size is tiny and even with several crops, the food runs out before that next crop is ready, IF the rains cooperate perfectly, Too much or too little or poorly timed rains are devastating to the community.
Well I'm off to bed. I'll send this out before you guys wake up tomorrow. We've got another busy day ahead, this time maybe with some good picture opportunities! I wish I could take images from the streets here - it would break your heart.
xxoo, me
4/19/07 Yesterday was an adventure day!
We went to the hot springs about 60 miles out of town. First we stopped for munchies and water, then we met Rediet and dropped off her supplies, then out to the country. It was nice to get away from the city. Clouds built up and it poured, and looked like our day would be a bust, but the storm only lasted about a half hour and the sun came out again. It was nice to travel along the roads, to see how the little villages looked, how the people went about their normal lives.
At the hot springs, we divided into male and female groups and went down into a shallow pool, with 4" pipes coming out of the wall with the water flowing freely. I was changing into my swim suit and stepped onto the rock floor, and thought, "that's odd that the sun would make it that hot on the rock" but it wasn't the sun. The water is flowing through a nearby mountain that haas a large magma mass near the surface, and the water comes out about 15-20 degrees hotter than a hottub's water temp. There were about 10 men in their bathing, soaking and lathering up. Apparently these springs are famous for good cleansing, and they really scrub and lather. I walked over and put my feet in and quickly pulled them back out, to their laughter. They were all telling me to get in, showing me that they could take it. I told them I had to get my feet used to it first, and after a minute, I was up and diving through the water, eventually letting it pour over my shoulders for 45 seconds or so - as long as they were able to take it as well. They liked me then - male bonding with strange men in the thermal springs.... When I left the pool my feet looked like tomatoes. When I left the springs, the girls had headed down to the female side and saw many large naked soapy women and turned around and left.
We then went to the pool, which fills up also from the springs, but has more surface area for cooling, and so was hot tub temp. We swam for a while, but hot swimming is not all that great frankly, so we left. and traveled back, taking pictures of people as we sped by at 60 mph.
We did get some cute monkey pictures at the hot springs, and got to play on a huge termite mound. One time we stopped and asked some older ladies walking by the side of the road if we could take their picture, and we got cussed out in Amharic.
We'll be seeing you all soon! We fly out tomorrow evening!
Tira, I thought you'd want more than just "met Rediet." She's a beautiful little one in between Tseganesh and Sarah in height. She was diligently doing her schoolwork with her peaceful kindergarten class. We were only able to take a few pictures as Gail was not encouraging a long visit. The facilities looked very clean and all the children loved and well cared for. Gail said the doctor was familiar with all the items you sent and could sort through them with no problem. We added a stuffed kitty to her package. Gail told Rediet all about you and that we were at the same church.
4/20/07 Last thoughts from this side of the Atlantic
Today we went shopping and bought all of the children mementos of their country as well as an Amharic-English New Testament for both Shataye and Esayas. They both read English phonetically quite well but do not have comprehension yet. We had a great time and shopping with four new children in a foreign country was not as daunting as I thought it would be; for one, it is very safe here. Everyone looks after the children with a it-takes-a-village-to raise-a-child mentality.
Afterwards we went to eat at a compromise restaurant, one serving both pizza and injera. Tseganesh refused to eat because she was sharing with Sarah and wanted a whole plate of injera with beef tibs to herself. We are trying to teach Shataye and Esayas to ignore rather than cajole when she goes into passive-agressive mode. In fact, tomorrow we are going to the CWA foster home for our third good-bye by both the children's and workers' request and there we are going to meet with the counselor to have her translate for us so we can explain our preferred family dynamics and discipline philosophy -- summed up to be mainly, we're in charge :) I have pantomimed "when Mom speaks, you shhh" and said pointing to myself "I'm Mom." and pointing to them "You, brother/sister." They smile and laugh but they obey.
At the restaurant we had to wait for our driver who had some sort of family emergency. It was just us and this business man with two women, one dressed traditionally muslim, the other dressed in a modern pant suit. Tseganesh got down (not one to skip a meal, she finally did eat, both pizza and injera on one plate.) and began to flirt with them all. So Sarah followed suit, which is pretty typical order of operations for them. The man, Mohammed Hussain, shared with us his philosophy about Ethiopia. If every person with money would sponsor some kids, then Ethiopia's economy would change dramatically. We talked for some time; in the end he gave us some business cards and he said he would be willing to give some funds to a children's ministry, regardless of religion.
We tried to get the little ones to take a nap while we packed, but had to settle for in the bedroom with the door shut. They all know that tomorrow is the day and the opened suitcases were just too exciting. Anytime a plane has flown by our window, all four would jump up and talk about how they are going in a plane. Anyway we are packed.
About our 25 day braiding style .... I'm thinking the beautician forgot a decimal point, at least for the little ones. Tonight the whole family got involved in the unbraiding ceremony before bath. Steve and Shataye with Tseganesh and Esayas and I with Sarah. They won and not because of Steve's skills. Right now they are braiding Steve's hair. Good thing he recently changed his hair style because I have not been cooperative. I did not pack a blow dryer and am on natural curly mode. Ethiopia agrees with me hair, skin and temperature wise. If the food were better and there were less exhaust fumes, I might be tempted to stay for aesthetic reasons.
Sarah says:
tyyi
dddxvvvc
kjotrewqzn
which means "HI Jake and Hannah!" We told the kids that we would call the other kids when we got to the States and the girls all want to talk on the phone to Hannah and Esayas to Jake. (Tseganesh calls him "Jack")
Steve now.
You guys will have to take it easy on my new kids for a while. They are still rough around the edges, and will be so for quite some time. Here while in their familiar surroundings, they are so full of excitement for new things they just don't know how to act appropriately in most of the new situations, and once in America, it will be even worse. Throw social graces out the window, and so many of the things that are natural here will not be there. Men hold hands walking down the street. Pretty much all adults in the area will care for you. People who meet you are genuinely interested in you and become your friend by the second meeting. There is absolutely no hint of racism here... it is an amazing place, and I am sad to be leaving, yet I cannot wait to be reunited with my kids and my church.
Africa has changed me. People here are both better and worse than in America. So much could be done that is not, so many ways they do NOT look out for each other, yet so many ways the basic decency of society is more intact here, where there was never a time I felt like anyone was ever trying to take advantage of me, never a time I did not feel safe, though I was a stranger in every sense of the word. We asked a driver why you almost never see police and he said they are not needed. (perhaps some traffic cops would be nice!) Sure we met crabby, busy people too, don't get me wrong. Most of the people here are excited about what we are doing, knowing that we are helping out in a situation that is out of their control. There were doubts in my mind along the process as everything played out - are we right to take children from their homeland and force them to fit within my world? and the answer from the older kids, from the workers, from the waiters, from the taxi drivers, from the guy on the street is a resounding YES! take them with our blessing, be blessed by helping those with less, including the country of Ethiopia, who needs our assistance to stand at this point in history. It was nice to be confirmed in this, when those that do not know in the states may question me. Those here do not. When total strangers smile and thank you for looking out for Ethiopia, you know you have made true friends.
I will miss my taxi drivers, the cook down the street that loved to make jokes with me through the window. the omelet lady, the way we won over the wait staff that had to put up with 6 messy people around a small table but watched a family being formed before their eyes over the week's time. Thanks for all your help, and rest assured we will still need your prayers even more so in the upcoming months.
Karen --
One thing that broke my heart a few days ago. We were in the taxi-van with our court representative, Dagne, "Dad" to all the kids at the foster home. Shataye was telling him all her adventures since she saw him last and concluded "I wish my mom could see me now." He translated and said she meant, not on the outside, new clothes etc. but on the inside -- happy.
God's joy and strength to you,
Paulson 8
4/24/07 back home! OK so we're back home. That was toooooooooo long to be on a plane. We arrived in SA after 48 hours of no sleep. Hannah drove me home and I collapsed after seeing a large crowd of well-wishers in the front yard. Sunday I was in and out of consciousness. The little ones were waking at 4 AM wanting to play. Back to bed until the sun comes up! Meals from friends! Kids into everything! So much excitement! Two weeks worth of work and mail to catch up with! AAAUUUUGH! Went to school today, was nice to see people, but NO, I haven't even looked at pictures yet! I'll catch this up in a week or so when I get a breather! Come on by and see my beautiful kids! or be patient and I'll get it done soon!
xxoo, me
4/28/07 first thoughts at home
We are home and settling in. Right now Tseganesh and Sarah are playing with play dough, Shataye is practicing English on the computer, Esayas is reading his Amharic/English Bible and Jake is doing schoolwork.
Okay interruption. I heard a smack and a cry. Our peace was disrupted. Tseganesh hit Sarah. That is one thing we have been working on with the children. Esayas does not hit the girls, but he was raising his hand to threaten them. On our last day, we spoke through the foster home counselor to both Esayas and Shataye to let them know that discipline was our job, not theirs. Esayas stopped the raised hand immediately and both have only had to be reminded a few times to let us verbally correct the girls. However, Sarah and Tseganesh are still hitting each other. When they are corrected, like right now with Tseganesh, they cry a lot longer than Hannah or Jake did. I wonder if they are using this time to mourn more than the correction. I hold and rock them and very gradually they stop. With prompting and a few minutes of my waiting while they eye each other, they will say "Sorry" with their little trilled "r's" that always make me smile.
Sibling rivalry just has not been an issue with Jake and Hannah; not that they've never quarreled or been rude to each other but it's been rare. Maybe because they always had Amanda, Jessica and Aric here as a group of friends or maybe because they were one boy and one girl and secure in their position or maybe because of our excellent parenting :)
Other things we have worked on is asking for things properly, using a dime sized liquid soap serving (as opposed to four quarters worth with a three minute washing between each quarter; I actually had to put up the soap, way too tempting), changing clothes each day (that's Esayas, all boy), shutting doors to the outside, not turning on the t.v., telling me when they are leaving the house (we lost Esayas twice: once in the Ethiopian airport and once in Chicago), trying milk or other new food, drinking in the kitchen, not touching Dad's computer or camera, and overall just the morning and evening routines.
Jessica and Hannah were reminiscing about my child rearing last night and all the things I wouldn t let them do such as mixing play dough colors and changing their minds on a drink once I already served them and not letting them tell me no. That s something I am not used to. If I tell Tseganesh or Sarah to go to bed or whatever, they sometimes shake their head, wag their finger, make a face and tell me No as if it s optional and just not their preference right now.
Still we have not experienced many of the issues the books and our training talked about. The children do not hoard food. Esayas has not exhibited male dominance behavior with me or anyone else. They do seem to understand family dynamics and consequences of behavior.
I have been doing a little school with the little ones each day so that they will be ready for sitting at a task for extended time. They both can use a pen/pencil quite well to trace and write letters independently. Sarah knows her alphabet and numbers. Both know the days of the week and months of the year. I need to get some computer programs for Sarah especially as we would like to put her in first grade and I think she could learn to read quite easily. She can already read in Amharic. Esayas and Shataye have been doing Bible, English, and practicing reading out loud with children's books for pronunciation and comprehension. Jake oversees some of this for me.
Today is the first day that I have had time to sit to do me-stuff. The laundry after our trip and unpacking was a little overwhelming on Sunday/Monday. Yesterday I cleaned the whole house. In between, I've tried to spend a good chunk of time with each child. Our church family has been bringing us meals which is not only our supper but next day's lunch. I think I can just about manage this if that continues! :) I wonder what the children think about all this wonderful catering and I hope they do not become too accustomed to such great meals or they will be spoiled for reality -- Mom's cooking.
There are a lot of challenges but more people should talk about the fun of adoption. We love teaching the children all the wonders of life here from ice cream to bubble baths to swimming to ice and water from the refrigerator to dishwashers and washing machines to Animal Planet to choosing new clothes each day (Sarah actually said "Yeah" and ran to her dresser when I told her to get dressed today) to a mom and dad and siblings who love each other and you and think you are the greatest. Last night after a wonderful Ethiopian meal hosted by the Schmidts, we played outside for a couple of hours. Steve is teaching Shataye to ride a bike. I tried at first, but running behind someone who weighs the same as you while holding onto the seat was a bit challenging. Plus I was ten years younger the last time I taught a child, a 40 pound child, to ride a bike. Esayas already knows how to ride a bike and is quite the dare-devil. Please pray for his safety as he is fearless. The little ones rode the scooters with Hannah, Jessica and me taking turns helping. Our neighbor next door has a four wheeler. Tseganesh went right up to him and climbed up. Sarah soon followed and they got a ride around the block. They decorated our front porch using sidewalk chalk and Jake and Shataye played roof ball. It was just a peaceful spring night.
The three older ones seemed to bond with us affectionately immediately. I think at first Tseganesh was merely imitating them but in the last few days, she has initiated her own affection and comes to us first for comfort and all other needs. She also seemed to be less of a "grateful" orphan. Again not that we were expecting it but the others, more aware of their past life perhaps, definitely responded to all things new with sincere gratitude. She is younger, less aware of what she is gaining; instead aware of what she has lost without understanding why. Perhaps the loss of her mom resulted in her withholding trust with us initially. Who knows the workings of a little one's mind? But we're happy to see her growing trust in us as her mom and dad.
Hannah and Jake have been just great, patient or pretty patient, and helpful in every way. They both love to teach and these new siblings are a way for them to use that gift. Esayas and Jake play all day together but Jake also helps Esayas keep within our rules. Jake is very consistent in demanding the rules be kept. He has always been that way; even as a child he would keep an eye on my speedometer and chastise me if I went over a mile or two. Hannah loves to cuddle and play with Tseganesh and Sarah. She has been showing Shataye all kinds of stuff and I'll hear Shataye calling for Hannah to be shown things.
Things they have made me well up or smile -- Tseganesh bowing her head over her cereal bowl for prayer. Yesterday when Steve and Hannah came home from school, the children (except Jake) all rushed to the door and tackled them with hugs and kisses. Our family (including Peter and Jessica) gathered round the table for supper. Jake gently telling Tseganesh that we don t hit and to tell Esayas Sorry. Esayas riding down the hill with his legs kicked up and a huge smile on his face. Shataye going to the computer again at night after not understanding a tv show we were watching to practice her English. Steve carrying the girls into the house after they fell asleep in the van. Peter playing little hand tricks with the little ones and making them laugh. Shataye counting up how many names each person in the family had. (Shataye Joy Mimi -- Ethiopian pet name for little girl-- Belete Paulson). Tseganesh stating her opinions on everything with great earnestness and vehemence.
Sarah s sweet hugs and exuberant kisses on my lips, cheeks, forehead and hands.
Thank you all for sharing this journey with us. The Lord has truly blessed all who have been a part of this -- nothing to do with us, all to do with Him. One friend was telling me today what a blessing it was to be at the house to greet us when we came home with the children and how these kids have already opened her and her kids eyes to the beauty of adopting an orphan. I am still in Exodus as I told you before and in the chapter immediately following the Ten Commandments, God warns the Israelites that they are not to take advantage of the widow or the orphan or the alien. The Israelites, as former slaves, should know the plight of those in need and have empathy. We Americans are not needy enough in material goods but certainly we like all people are in need of a Savior. One of our topics of conversation with the natives in Ethiopia was how the Ethiopians because of their material needs are more ready to recognize their spiritual needs and the Ethiopians we spoke saw this as the greater blessing. We pray each of you will know the joy and release of surrendering that need as He is the reason we do what we ve done. We know we re orphans as well without Him and I cannot wait to kiss Him as Sarah does me.
God s joy and strength to you,
Karen for the Paulson 8
5/12/07 update of sorts
Hi!
I'm really sorry it has taken so long to get any word at all out. Karen had a big thing at church and pretty much every waking hour is filled with play and adventure and parenting stuff. I DO have a couple of pictures almost ready and there are SOOOO many funny stories to tell! but I really have limited computer time now. 6 of us are working on this computer (My laptop is in the shop right now... and we don't let the little ones touch it!) and by the time I get on at 11, I really just check a couple emails and go collapse, but to summarize:
We're having a lot of fun. These kids of course come with some issues and are transitioning slowly into American life and Paulson life, but they are quirky and fun-loving, and the times spent disciplining are much less than the times spent having fun and bonding. I'm sure I'll have more time soon as the school year winds down and we'll get more info (and pictures!) out to you.
Keep praying that we keep good attitudes (all 8 of us!) Pray for my nephew Silas (also an adoptee!) who is in the hospital right now with a staph infection in his little brain.
We're going through a lot of groceries and play-dough, and we're all learning a lot about sharing and getting along, but the progress is better than I planned for! It will be a long road, but we're still far from done with the ones we've had for 14 and 16 years, so I'm being very patient. The kids each have strengths and growth areas we are learning to deal with properly, and I think the cash flow is doing as it should, but check with me again in a couple months to be sure! ;)
Thanks for all your help and support and call us and talk to the kids! They love to answer the phone. Or stop by and see us at church this Sunday!
05/25/07 In Austin...
I'm a sponsor on Hannah's trip to Austin this Saturday for a choir competition. We got us early this AM and I drove us to Austin, where I mostly wait around to be a chauffeur. While I waited, I first of all napped! (we got up at 4:30!) then I finally sorted through some pictures so you can see some things from our trip and the kids and all... Of course internet access is everywhere here on the UT campus, but only if you have a password, which I do not, but at least I'm getting THIS far!
The kids are adjusting pretty well. They've been in America for just over a month now, and they are adjusting: learning rules, settling into a schedule of sorts, learning more English... the works.
Personalities are showing up pretty definitely by now - there's not much holding back or putting on a show by now. We know what we have to work with, and most of the challenges put before us.
Adoption is a pretty bizarre thing. Here are four complete strangers we are bringing into our home. They don't know us, we don't know them, we have little common frames of reference other than basic humanity issues, yet there is a trust that is there - why? With the little ones, I understand the need to have someone older to rely on and be a parent - when does that go away? The older ones are surprisingly trusting and affectionate to us complete strangers. Here they have entrusted their lives with us, and while they don't accept everything handed down as gospel, they aren't too far off from the ones we've had for decades...
Of course, since we have their best interest in mind, perhaps they can see that in our actions and understand their dependence on us. I DO know that when I totally trust that the LORD has my best interest in mind when He asks me to follow and do things contrary to my selfish nature, that I find the same thing. It's OK to trust, it works out nicely when someone with your best interest in mind is doing the driving. What doesn't surprise me is how fast I really love these kids. There is so much to learn about them, so much to find out exactly how they tick and what truly drives them and how to best engage them into life. I wonder when they will truly mean it when they say 'dad' and "i love you"
Hannah and Jake have been so good. They help out and have great attitudes and when they blow it, they model forgiveness and grace well to the others.
The children really are a delight. (MOST of the time ;) ) They want to do and try everything. It's pretty exhausting most of the time! Shataye has mastered a bike (Esayas already could ride) and Sarah is not far behind. I think training wheels are going to be necessary for Tseganesh. She's like Jake - one spill involving a bit of pain, and frankly walking and running aren't all that bad!
They've been through the first round of physicals - just the basics, and soon will go back for another test which should determine what they have been immunized for in the past. We have a friend that is a dentist who has graciously offered an initial cleaning and check-up for them. Everybody got a pair of tennis shoes last week, and even though Karen is a great shopper, 4 or 5 pairs of bargain shoes still has some sticker shock in total. It's going to take me a while to get used to seeing those increases.
One more week and I'll be Mr Mom! Karen will have more time to get back to work and I'll pick up most of the slack. Hopefully there will be some time for splitting up the group for various activities (like golf!) and I hope to do somewhat as well as Karen has been doing. My mom is down right now and goes back next week. Karen's mom was down before that, so we've been well supplied with family, which is nice. Both mothers have been the model of selflessness.
Well, the kids should show up soon and I'll have to drive them back to Laredo, so I'll sign off here.
To see some pictures of some photos of Ethiopia, click here!
If you want to do something and don't know what - I'd suggest clicking the link below, and "adopting" a needy child that needs your love and support that you WON'T have to send to kindergarten! They have a special section where you can sponsor AIDS-affected children in Africa if that touches your heart, or virtually everywhere else poverty and a lack of the Gospel are a problem. We have a "daughter" in Columbia we have been sponsoring for 8 or 9 years now... she's wonderful! I highly recommend it!
To go back to my main page, click here